Slime Cafe
Miro was a slime.
Summoned under stressful circumstances and captured by the people hunting down its summoner, this slime has no idea what lies in store for it.
Perhaps food?
Most likely not.
Miro was a slime.
Summoned under stressful circumstances and captured by the people hunting down its summoner, this slime has no idea what lies in store for it.
Perhaps food?
Most likely not.
Sable didn’t know what she had expected from the afterlife, but turning into a giant flying lizard hadn’t been it.
And sure, she’s been thrust into a magic-crammed fantasy world with an obscenely powerful body, but things aren’t all great, here. There’s hordes of orcs to the north, an immortal legion of undead to the south, and fourteen human kingdoms who want the first dragon in centuries to be offed sooner than yesterday—except they’re too busy warring with each other to spare the resources.
Good for her?
And what’s up with the [Levels], [Classes], and [Skills] stuff? Specifically, her [Hoard] and [Notoriety] stats. She gets stronger the more gold she has? The more people are terrified of her? No wonder the human kingdoms want her head on a spike, with motivations like those. Dragons in the past must have been seriously unsavory sorts. Maybe she can find less … evil … ways to progress?
What are the odds taxes and propaganda can get her where she needs to be? Protection in exchange for tithes, and campaigns to make her seem scarier than she is?
That would make her a politician, wouldn’t it? A giant flying lizard politician.
What a headache.
Book 1 is on Kindle and Audible!
Balthazar was just a random giant crab enjoying his life in a fantasy world full of bothersome human adventurers, but then he had to go and accidentally discover the secret of attributes and levels. And also pie. With baked goods and coin as his new life goals, he turns to the competitive business of trading the random junk adventurers loot every day.
Follow Balthazar as he does everything to find a baker... except leave his pond, because exploring the dangerous world out there is for suckers. Witness how adventurers just can't seem to stop dying around his home. And cheer for a crab who makes great new friends by simply buying them.
Book 3 is out now, with new chapters fresh off the bakery!
What to expect from this story:
- No harems, not unless they're a harem of gold coins.
- Silliness, lots of it. The story doesn't take itself too seriously, so you shouldn't either.
- The only kind of OP here is how "overpriced" the crab's deals are.
- A system simple enough for a crab to use, but still conveniently complex when necessary, for some odd reason.
- Proper realistic adventurers: they're not very bright, and they make very poor decisions.
- Did I mention there will be pastries?
She’s a Cat. She’s a Girl. And she’s going to evolve.
Yona wasn’t always a cat, but she is now, and she’s living her best cat life. No silly “Quests” or “Systems” are going to get in her way!
…Until they do. Unfortunately, time waits for no man, and it certainly waits for no cat, and Yona finds that out the hard way. Now, stranded alone on an island surrounded by monsters, she needs to fight for her life to survive and return to the mainland!
…Or just pig out and nap and sometimes slap some fish people around. Either works. But there’s one thing she’s not going to do: swim. And that makes escaping the island a bit more of a challenge than it needs to be.
Meanwhile, the gods are brewing up… something. As gods tend to do.
What to expect:
- The MC is a cat, both in body and mind
- Gluttony powers done right
- The only romance is Yona X Fish (can’t get enough fish)
- A System that is sassy only in self defense
- Numbers go up (a lot)
- Somewhat unhinged MC
I tagged it with graphic violence and sensitive content, but it shouldn't get too bad. Just wanted to be safe
Chloe is coming for all the tasty brains in the world!
Being a zombie used to be super boring. Chloe just walked around in the dungeon, got chopped up by adventurers, then respawned. Over and over again.
Until one day… she woke up.
Now she’s got smarts and a taste for freedom. Why stick around some stinky dungeon when there’s a whole world out there to explore?
Sure, the gods are out there, stirring up chaos and treating the world like a game. And yeah, some big players are itching to put a stop to their meddling.
But Chloe? She's just here to eat brains.
What to expect:
- Monster Evolution
- LitRPG with few stat blocks
- Brains being eaten
Toad Town is a dark-comedy parody of the Dungeon Core / CoreLit genre of stories, and follows a similar progression system, yet is distinct from typical CoreLit, as, rather than being a dungeon aimed at killing adventurers to grow, Toad and his town develops through reaching construction milestones and such. This unintentionally leads to far more deaths than your average Dungeon... the majority of these deaths are from his own minions though...
Follow along as a witless Toad and his overworked-and-frustrated Guiding Fairy try to make sense of a completely new type of Core in a world rife with Dungeon Cores. Read as they battle a Honking Menace and their very own System, all to achieve the evolutions of Toad's Settlement Core.
Along the journey, you will ask such questions as "Why am I reading this? This is really dumb..." and make comments like, "Perhaps this is God's judgement for the transgressions of mankind..."
Toad Town will aim towards the goal of being so absurdly moronic that it defies even such adjectives.
WARNING: as you follow the 'plot', you may experience repeated contractions of your diaphragm or the exhalation of air through your nostrils. Anything can happen with a concept this astronomically dumb.
New chapter every Wednesday.
I have a Discord group where you can connect with other readers of my stories.
Shoutout to Jack0fheart for making the cover.
(I was not forced to write this following paragraph at gunpoint)
Jack is a very handsome and intelligent beast of a man, who is beloved by fair maidens the world over for his exquisite mastery of the smut genre of writing. His stories are a deep-dive into the true depravity one person can realistically commit themselves to writing, while retaining their sanity. I endorse his content greatly, especially the fantasy hypogamy.
The Heavens demand obedience, she offers slaughter.
Fa Xiaolan was one of the most powerful cultivators in the world. In fact, she was so powerful that she went as far as to challenge the Jade Emperor for his position as the pinnacle of all immortals. Unfortunately, she overestimated herself, losing badly and getting her soul shattered.
One of the fragments of her soul ends up in the body of a freshly hatched phoenix. Most of her memories are gone, but that's not going to stop her from figuring out how to cultivate again and remedy the mistakes of her first life... As soon as she figures out what those mistakes were.
What to expect:
-Lots of fun evolutions and paths(even though she's Phoenix)
- Monster evolution shenanigans
- Xianxia shenanigans
-Cloning Shenanigans
- Generally birdbrain MC with some latent cultivator memories (not a badass all-knowing reincarnator)
Releases Saturday/Monday/Wednesday
Life was perfect: naps in sunbeams, stolen snacks and expertly timed "accidents" to torment her favorite human.
So, when licking a strangely alluring gemstone on an old mask suddenly flooded her fuzzy head with memories of her former human existence... well, like any sensible fox would, Clover simply filed it under "list-of-things-to-not-give-a-damn-about" and went back to important business. Like napping.
Fate, however, had other plans.
When the velvet curtain of her pampered ignorance was violently ripped aside, revealing a world steeped in ancient horrors, eldritch hungers, and flesh-warping occult progression... she reacted with remarkable calm. A raised eyebrow (metaphorically), perhaps. Because the real horror was anything threatening her nap-snack-torment equilibrium.
Now, this newly enlightened vulpine has a simple goal: Get Stronger. Not for glory. But purely so she can achieve peace through overwhelming power.
What to expect:
- A tier-based progression system (Body horror optional, but aesthetically likely)
- A terrifying world… seen through the unblinking, mildly annoyed gaze of a fluffy creature primarily concerned with treat distribution.
- OP protagonist → even more OP protagonist.
- Misunderstandings. So many misunderstandings.
- A totally honest, glorious, and helpful trait. Can be trusted with eyes closed.
STUBBED - THIS STORY IS COMPLETE AND HAS MOVED TO AMAZON + AUDIBLE!
[I died and was accidentally reborn as an angelic monstrosity, so now I’m building a holy dungeon-tower that is tall enough to reach the gods; so that I can complain about it! But the humans think that I am trying to destroy the world.]
The senselessness of so much of the world’s death and suffering is made apparent to the dying paladin, Isaiah, in his final moments before he perishes and is, shortly thereafter, reborn into a comparatively quiet and peaceful existence as a simple blackbird.
However, the powerful magic of the god whom Isaiah himself had served in his prior human life upends this latest existence, as a spell goes awry, turning the entity instead into a strange, angelic monstrosity that is neither man nor animal.
Isaiah, desperate to return to its simple life as a blackbird, sets out to build the tallest tower ever seen by the eyes of the world in order to reach the reclusive gods who reside in the heavens above and make them undo the transformation in a bid to allow itself an escape from the complex suffering of intelligent, self-aware mortality.
[Dungeon-Core] [litRPG] [Base-building]